Westmoreland.

so. listen. this is me in monotonous.
suicide. committing it. attempting it. contemplating it. i think they all bore different purposes.

so what is the best way to die? by deciding how yourself. sparing u the element of surprise. in miami vice, at the beginning of the movie, this guy juz takes a step forward in a busy highway n --splattt-- gets hit by a huge ass truck. cool way to die. messy but cool.

a friend of mine swallowed a bunch of panadols, she was waging war with her mom. sent to the hospitals, pumped up her stomach. her parents worried sick by her side. just the way she wanted it. when her mom asked her why she did, how cud u do smthin like that. she said she was hungry. so she ate what she had. panadols.

committing it. this is the real deal. the big kahuna. the mentally disturbed. in my views, u wud only have the guts to do it if the act results in sparing urself from some demon on your tails. this is the mother of selfish act. dont tell me ur committing suicide to spare ur family frens lovers world from the likes of u. the world is a better place without u, u concluded. thats complete bullshit. ur selfish. n thats it. ur saving ur own ass, and thats it. dont go martyr-ized on me.

ur tellin me ur feeling like slitting ur wrist coz u cant stand the fights with ur family lover frens etc, ill put on my sympathy face but i wont buy ur shit. ur telling me ur wana take ur own life cause uh, u got a bun in ur oven, that, ill believe u. it'll save YOU all the trouble in the world. by being dead.

the only reason u'd be able to take a razor, press it down, hard, onto the veins of ur wrist, till the first speck of blood appear, press harder, slowly cutting ur flesh, sideways, till the razor touch ur bone, stretch it, is that ur mentally -disturbed self-centered shallowed cowardice. thats it.

attempting it. u r an attention seeker. u seek attention. u crave attention. ur tryin to tell one to change one's perspective towards u. ur tellin the world to stop doing whatever their doing to u. u swallowed the pills, dropped on the floor and hoping that that 'particular' someone would find you.

or u just plain bored n got nothin else to do. by doing this u think, u'll belong to the rare, specially carved, deeply troubled, artistic, mysterious, intriguing label. pathetic, yes. cool? no.

contemplating it. who hasnt? u'r neck deep in trouble. ur tired of seeing ur life being run about. u felt like u hve no purpose in life.

but ur not the only one.
they r others. exactly like u.

even ive done some contemplating myself. i aint telling u why. u had urs n i had mine.
standing on the 13th floor balcony, nothing between me and the hard concrete floor below, dive in head first into the air, to feel the adrenaline, to feel the rushin wind, piercing thru my skin, gushin past me, carrying away my burdens towards heaven,.....yeah. all i need to do is lift up both my feet. oh so easy.

bt i wont do it. not in million years.
n i know u wont too.

my fren i was telling u about, she had 12 panadols in total at that time. but she only 'ate' the safe 8. go figure.